Discussion: More than One Way to Spill the Beans?

Keeping Quiet: Should I tell my friend his boyfriend’s secret?

The anonymous writer of this story is virtually certain that a friend’s boyfriend is HIV+. Furthermore, his friend has told him that he is having unprotected sex with this man, and does not know that he is positive. The anonymous writer of the story feels like it is not his business to tell his friend directly about the danger. He tries to make up for not telling him directly by frequently talking to him about safer sex practices.

Hand out these possible actions that Anonymous could take. Discuss them with your students. Which is best? Which wouldn’t work? How do they compare with what he’s doing now? What else would they suggest?

• Anonymous writes him an anonymous note. What would the note say?

• Anonymous talks to someone about what to do. Tells a friend a hypothetical story that is real. Is there an adult to talk with? How can he locate a health professional about the situation?

• Anonymous lies to KaJuan: “I have a friend who was seeing a guy and it turned out that guy had HIV but never told my friend and my friend believed him when he asserted his negative condition.”

• Write KaJuan's boyfriend an anonymous note, threatening to expose him to KaJuan if he doesn’t come clean.